You know what I hate?
I hate working my ass off doing everything I think I should do to “get to the next level”. The problem is I never make it to the next level. Whether it’s work or music or writing, I always seem to be stuck in the same place. I just don’t have what it takes to propel myself upward. Some people have it. They post one video on YouTube and within minutes they have a thousand followers, post two more and they have a million followers. I work for years posting videos and I still only have a dozen. I never get there. I never break through whatever wall is holding me back. This is true at work as well. At first I climbed up the ladder getting promoted quickly. I was a rock star and everyone loved me. But then I stalled out. Now I can’t get past it. Somehow I’ve been labeled as mediocre and I can’t peal it off. Is this where I’m going to stay until I retire? I also tried building something with writing but it always flounders. Why is it some people can post shit and it goes viral while my shit goes down the drain? There is no building blocks for me, no blogs that generate interest, no music that causes a sensation, no writing that garners following, no niche I can call my own that makes me special. I am not a leader. Like I said previously. I’m Alfred. I am the loyal dutiful butler that stays invisible to the world with nothing to contribute of my own. No one knows my name. I am the work horse that gets no recognition or glory. So how can I build a future for myself when my future is being a nobody?