I Hate My Memory

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You know what I hate? I hate my how bad my memory is. I can barely remember anything at all.

I watch movies and like a month later I don’t even remember what happened. Sometimes I don’t even remember that I watched the movie. I mean, sometimes it’s nice because then I can watch it over and be amazed again. But if I get into a conversation about it with someone, I can barely remember any of the details.

And I especially hate sequels. In sequels nowadays, you have to remember what happened in the previous episodes in order to understand anything. When the latest Avengers movie came out, I could barely remember what happened in the previous ones. Or worse, I get confused between those and other movies like Batman, Superman, Xmen, whatever. Do I go and watch the movie and try to figure out what’s going on or do I just watch them all over again on video before I see the new one? But that’s like 7 movies, I have to watch. It takes me forever…

The same thing with novels. I’ve read many of the classics, but I can’t remember what the hell happened in any of them. Year ago, I saw the list of the top 100 novels of all time and I felt bad that I never read any of them, so I decided to start reading them. I’ve actually read quite a few of them but then when I go back and look through the list I don’t remember anything about them. I’ve read slaughterhouse five and brave New World and A Tale of Two Cities,  but I can’t remember anything that happens.

If I have a conversation about a novel, I feel like an idiot because I don’t remember anything that happened. I usually just play dumb and say I haven’t read it and that’s not really a lie. After all, if I can’t remember anything, then I haven’t read it.

I meet people for the first time and they tell me their name and 10 minutes later I don’t remember what the hell they’re name is. And worse I see a week later and of course they remember my name but I can’t freaking remember theirs and I feel like an idiot for asking so I just say hi or how are you and somehow work around not even saying their name at all. After that I feel even worse because every time I see them now I know I don’t remember their name and it just gets worse and worse and eventually I start avoiding them because I don’t want to get caught not remembering their name.

Or I meet people and they tell me like they just had a baby on it was a girl and her name is Sophia and I said that’s really awesome. Then a month later, I’m talking to them and they say something about how their kid was sick and I don’t remember whether they had a boy or a girl or the name or even how many kids they have. I don’t want to feel like a freaking idiot so I don’t ask. Eventually I withdrawal from people all together because I don’t know if I’ll say something stupid or something that I should already know.

I’ll get some error on my computer and then I’ll spend the L3 days look it up on Google how to fix it and then I fix it and it’s like awesome I was able to fix that and then six months later the same error happens again and I don’t remember what the hell I did to fix it like a crap I hate that I don’t remember anything

I don’t remember people’s names and birth dates barely even remember what I had for lunch yesterday. It affects my confidence. How can I have a conversation or even just get through the day with a shit memory like mine? I don’t remember any details. I don’t remember anything.

Sorry, got distracted. What was I talking about?

 

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